If you are born into a world with a disability, society often tells you, implicitly or explicitly, that you won’t achieve a successful life on your own terms. That the expectations for you are low. That the life you dream of is out of reach. I am grateful to have experienced firsthand how profoundly untrue this is.
Let me share my story—how I transformed from feeling like a burden to becoming a person filled with strength, resilience, and confidence. Education and knowledge set you free, and my journey stands as living proof of this truth.
My story begins at birth. I came into the world on September 5th, 1987, in Seoul, South Korea. My biological parents were a young couple facing difficult circumstances. In a selfless act, they decided to put me up for adoption, wanting the best for me despite their own struggles. Soon after my birth, I was placed in an orphanage, which became my first home for the initial six months of my life. While there, I fell from a toddler changing table, injuring my head and causing bleeding in my brain. Complications from limited oxygen during birth, combined with this accident, resulted in my cerebral palsy.
On March 16th, 1988, I was adopted to Norway, joining a new family in Nærbø, a small community in the southwest region near Stavanger. I became a younger sibling to a two-year-old boy without disabilities. Shortly after settling in, my parents noticed I wasn’t crawling like other toddlers. They took me to Stavanger University Hospital, where I received my formal diagnosis.
From that point onward, a dedicated team of healthcare professionals supported my physical development. This began in kindergarten and continued throughout my entire elementary education, from the fall of 1993 to my graduation in spring 2003. Using a walker, crutches, and eventually a wheelchair became second nature to me. I started at age four, and integrating mobility aids into my life early made them feel like a natural part of who I am.
Yet socially, life was more complicated. From my first day at school, I felt different. While other children ran, laughed, and played freely, I quickly realized I was the “weird kid.” The social interactions that came naturally to others were unfamiliar and uncomfortable to me. Over ten years of elementary school, I often faced exclusion and ridicule. I vividly remember being humiliated by a classmate who called me a r*tard for not being able to kick a football, pulling down my pants in front of everyone. A teacher intervened, but the sting of ignorance and cruelty stayed with me.
Home life brought its own challenges. At age five, I lost my mother to pancreatic cancer. My father later remarried, though that marriage ended in 2004. Thankfully, my aunt and uncle became my second family, offering love, protection, and support beyond measure. Their care has shaped my life profoundly, and I remain forever grateful for them.
Throughout my childhood, I underwent several surgeries for my disability, each followed by up to six months of painful physical rehabilitation. Those years were far from typical, but they taught me invaluable lessons about willpower, resilience, and positivity—even if I didn’t understand it at the time.
By the year 2000, I entered my teenage years, a period of self-discovery and uncertainty. Loneliness and the lack of lasting friendships made adolescence particularly daunting. My first attempts at friendship were complicated by mental health struggles and social difficulties. Junior high school brought academic challenges, but I discovered a love for learning English, which became my lifeline. Mathematics remained a struggle, yet I eventually graduated and moved on to upper secondary education, ready to shape my future.
Around age 14, I also began to understand my sexual orientation and realized I was gay. In a world filled with homophobia and little tolerance for people with disabilities, I kept my feelings hidden, experiencing sadness, fear, and confusion. Yet, by the end of junior high, I formed a true friendship that profoundly boosted my personal growth, teaching me the value of perseverance and self-respect.
Technology offered another lifeline. Hours spent on MSN Messenger allowed me to connect with others, giving me a sense of community even when few visited in person. These experiences shaped my social confidence and helped me navigate the world.
In 2003, at age 15, I started upper secondary education, determined to gain independence by the age of 20—a goal I achieved. Two years of vocational school further strengthened my skills and confidence, even as social challenges persisted. I learned to focus on my goals while others struggled to find their paths, and for the first time, I felt the tables had turned in my favor.
In spring 2005, I decided to come out as gay. I started by telling my cousin, then extended family, and eventually my father and brother. The initial reaction from my father was difficult. He struggled to accept it, even threatening to withhold my independence. After heartfelt discussions and standing my ground, he eventually came around, becoming a proud supporter of my life and choices. That experience, though painful, shaped me profoundly.
Education remained central to my journey. After completing my upper secondary studies, finding employment proved extremely difficult. Over 400 job applications led to countless rejections. Once, during a recruitment interview, I was even asked if I had considered disability checks instead of working. I left immediately, refusing to accept that kind of judgment. Eventually, I secured a position through a combined vocational and theoretical program, earning my degree in December 2006—a monumental milestone.
January 2007 marked the beginning of my career journey, full of determination and persistence. I gained additional education in vocational law, strengthened my CV, and built meaningful relationships that taught me about love, resilience, and overcoming ableism. I also earned my driver’s license and car by 2008, further cementing my independence.
Fast forward to summer 2021, after navigating the challenges of a global pandemic, I’ve built a successful career spanning over a decade. I live with my boyfriend, achieving a life filled with joy and accomplishment. My father passed away in 2017 from leukemia, but before he died, he told me how proud he was of me—words that continue to fuel my confidence and sense of purpose.
Living well, I’ve learned, is the best revenge. Life experience cannot be bought or cushioned. Success requires resilience, willingness to face setbacks, and a commitment to keep moving forward. Every challenge—big or small—shapes the quality of your life.
My journey is proof that no matter the obstacles, you can live life on your own terms. The key lies within your mind and heart. Life is meant to be lived fully, joyfully, and on your own terms. So embrace it, and have a good time doing so.
